One of the challenges when there has been pent-up demand for action, is that if a team comes forward to figure out the way forward, each member has his or own stake in the decisions as well. Everyone brings emotions, needs, agendas, perspectives, and old wounds to the table. That's why it is so important to ask this question at the outset, and to not move forward until there is agreement:
"What are we deciding?"
Then, if the process gets sidetracked by the many agendas at the table, or an individual needs to be heard, or something else takes the conversation in an unintended direction (as it invariably will), any member can get things back on track by asking, "What are we deciding, again? Let's park everything else that doesn't relate to this direct decision, and get back to those items once we have decided." This is a way to refocus the conversation on the decision, separate from people's individual needs, yet without suggesting that any of the "sidetracks" are invalid or not worth discussing.
I'm Megann Willson and I'm one of the Partners at PANOPTIKA. We work with our clients to help them see everything they need to make better decisions - using better data, a better approach, or a better frame of reference. You can also follow us on Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn. For more news you can use to help you or your team to make better decisions, click the handy button, below.
According to psychology there are three types of Empathy; Cognitive, Emotional and Compassionate. My brother, the PhD Psychologist, could explain this better than I can, but here goes…
Cognitive is about perspective, knowing what another person is feeling or thinking. It lacks the emotional component of the other two types and so is easier for us rational humans to understand and use.
Emotional empathy goes a layer deeper and is that sense you have about feeling someone’s pain or suffering. It’s the feeling you get when you see the advertising for starving children or displaced persons, then you go on with your normal activities.
The final layer is Compassionate empathy, where we not only feel the pain, but are compelled to act upon it. Mother Teresa is a model we could use to demonstrate the extreme of compassionate empathy.
Look around you these days and what you see is a whole lot of self-interest, a zero-sum attitude, in order for me to win you must lose. Empathy is the tool you can use to escape this destructive cycle and create a space for abundance.
So, in business, which of these empathy models do we want to employ? To steal a phrase from “A League of Their Own” and mangle it: “There’s no crying in business”.
When preparing for a meeting or negotiation, employing Cognitive Empathy will allow you to explore the thoughts, constraints and motivations of the other person. Ask yourself and your team questions such as:
What constitutes success from the customer’s perspective? Who do they need to influence to get a decision made? How can you empower them in a way that creates value for them with little or no cost to you?
This is a different way of thinking, so you may need some help along the way. At Panoptika we have the experience and the frameworks to help you and your team develop these skills and create more wins.
We feel for you!
I'm Steve Willson and I'm one of the partners in PANOPTIKA. We help clients to see everything and make better decisions.
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Last night, I was at an incredible power networking and launch event for women in healthcare here in Toronto. Congratulations to #HBAToronto on such a successful kickoff! I did have one thing that troubled me, though. One of the speakers was talking about all the guilt, remorse, and feelings of unworthiness that we sometimes deal with.
Don't get me wrong: we all need to take time to be vulnerable; my friend Anne Day expressed this so well in her Company of Women blog. What we don't need to do, is focus so much energy on what we feel is wrong with us. We can be vulnerable without feeling any of those terrible negative emotions: simply say, "I need help with...". I would also add to this, that experience has shown me that most women have had enough training and conditioning to focus on weaknesses, and we can spend too much time on fixing them. Weak spots don't need us to look at them; indeed, to mend them, we must firmly attach them to something much stronger. So if you have a weak spot you're worried about, instead of spending all your time looking for how to make it "not weak", find a strength you have, that you can use to bridge the thin spot, repair the crack, or patch the hole. You'll find if you repeatedly do this, it will not only repair the weaknesses; your attention to what is strong, whole, and resilient will reinforce those parts of you as well.
I'm Megann Willson and I'm one of the partners in PANOPTIKA. We help clients to see everything and make better decisions. If you're an entrepreneur and you'd like to register for my next Free 5x5 Sharper Focus Business Challenge, go to that tab when you leave here. Put yourself at the front of the line for the Challenge, and other coaching offers we're planning over the next few months. Stay strong!
Megann and Steve, Partners in PANOPTIKA, are working for our clients every day to help they need to know to make better decisions in their complex business environment.
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