This is a re-blog of Megann's post on LinkedIn this week.
“I believe you.” Have you ever experienced how much of a relief those three words are, when you’re surrounded by doubters? How you might not have even realized how much their negativity was weighing on you? At that moment, you don’t even need the supporter to do something to help the situation. They’ve done enough by simply acknowledging your truth. Many of us have experienced the empowering sensations that those three words can elicit.
What you might not have considered, is that this tiny but powerful message is also a tool you can use, two different ways. The obvious, is when it seems someone close to you is getting a lot of negative pushback on their idea, their opinion, or their statement of a situation. If what they are saying is reasonable, plausible, and they’ve given you no reason in the past to doubt their words, this is a time when you can firm the bonds of your relationship by simply using those three small words. You can do it very publicly, or you can do it quietly. Either way, believing is a valuable gift you can give someone.
The other way you can use “I believe you” is much less common. I recommend you use the statement on yourself. When you know you are right, or you have an important message to deliver, or you’re worried how your truth will be received because it might fly in the face of common practice, get yourself to a mirror. State your case. Look yourself deeply in the eye, and say it. “I believe you”. Say it until you do believe you. The results will be worth it. Believe me.
Never say never! Maybe you’ve tried starting a business or changing careers before, and it hasn’t worked out. Or maybe you’ve considered it, but talked yourself out of it because of your responsibilities, the risks, the time involved…who knows? One thing is for sure, unless you approach it with a plan of action, just like any other business endeavour, you’re doomed. The first part of the plan is to figure out what kind of chance you want to make. Here are five tips to get you started on the right path again:
1.Envision the future. Give yourself a long runway, maybe five years. Where would you like to be? What will you be doing? Who’s with you? What’s your message? Who’s listening? Painting a clear, detailed picture will let you get a handle on what you want and need from the change. This will help you focus on what you’ll get, and that’s important to keep yourself going when the hard parts of the change begin (because they will).
2.How did you get there? Look backward from the success you’ve achieved. What skills or talents did you use to get there? These are the tools in your toolkit that you want to use. It’s important to know whether you’ve got everything you need – or whether you’ll need to build regular learning into the picture. (Hint: if you’re not learning and stretching, you’re not thinking big enough – and it won’t feel like you’ve changed anything when you arrive).
3.Why did you want to go in the first place? Author Simon Sinek recommends that you start with “why”, and then work on what and how – but sometimes it’s difficult to get your brain around the motivation before you figure out what it is that you are motivated to do. If you’d rather start with the purpose, because you already know you want to educate kids or save kittens, go for it. Start here, then backtrack to Step One.
4.If you tried before, what didn’t work? Don’t do that. Seriously, evaluate what it was about your first effort that failed. You’ve probably done plenty of thinking about that already. Now figure out the actions and attitudes that did work – and work on those. You’ll get a much clearer picture of actions that were helpful and harmful than you had, the last time.
5.If you’ve never tried, start now. Honestly, start anywhere. Work on your business model. Interview some people in your ideal role. Profile a customer. It doesn’t matter. As soon as you break them logjam and start moving toward the change you’ve been looking for, you’ll start to pick up momentum. Make time to commit to a few steps every day, and just keep going. Eventually, it will all come together. Just dreaming about it won’t get you anywhere.
Are you experiencing a specific challenge with your new business, your dream business, or your career change? Let’s talk – or leave a comment for us, and we’ll respond.
You made it! You're on top of the world. But this isn't where the learning happens.
Think about the most important lessons you've learned. Did they happen when at the moment you achieved your goal? More likely, they happened afterward, as you reflected on your struggle. You may have even had a richer learning experience when you didn't achieve your goal. Think about all those "I'll never make that mistake again" moments you've had. Win or learn, mistakes, failures, and struggles mean you will enter into the next challenge stronger and more able to deal with the difficulties you may face.
What does this tell me? That each roadblock or difficulty prepares you to be even better next time. That the reward for the journey is the journey itself. And that you'll gain experience and confidence, no matter which path you take, or no matter how everything turns out. Now that's something to be on top of the world about.
Megann and Steve, Partners in PANOPTIKA, are working for our clients every day to help them See Everything. Here are some of the things we see.